Insanity

Insanity
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"-either Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin, or some other smartie, or supposed smartie. This somehow turned into a poem about abuse.

Insane to expect a result
Insane to seek a better way throughout
Insane to believe
Insane not to throw in the towel
and just leave.

Things haven't changed at all
Not in bigger ways nor small
I close my eyes at night and pray
For the courage to walk out the door
and run away.

All my friends see the black eye
But all I can do it deny
Laughing it off, they don't understand
The fear that my sanity
Is on sinking sand.

He's drunk again, it's Friday night
He's going to hurt me, he said he might
The kids are all safely away
I think about calling 911
But I know I'd pay.

The door opens with a crash
The coat rack lands with a smash
I beg and plead, he won't listen
Grabs a knife
I see it glisten.

Soon it's over and now I know
I didn't realize it'd be tonight though
I grow very very weak
As my thoughts get hazy
I hear him shriek.

"Carol, baby, I'm so sorry.
I'll change for you honey
Stay awake for me
Please, please, please
I need you, we"

His sentence ends abruptly
The neighbors called the cops out of worry
There's still time to save me
If they speed
If they hurry

Time has passed by
I pass the time with a sigh
We moved
And the memories stayed
As I try to figured out with I've proved.

We all survived, the kids and I
Sometimes, though, I can't help but lie
To them, to myself
Wishing we could all
Be someone, somewhere else.