Fickle

My heart is fickle
Easily distracted
So this may mean
You need to try a different tactic.

Keeping my attention
Ain't always easy, honey
But in the end it'll be worth it
And I'm not talking about money.

So take your time
Walk with me, talk with me
Show me your heart
I'll show you mine.

I still may be fickle
Easily distracted
But you know you'll get me
All you need is practice.

I might be happy one minute
Stormy the next
I might be here one second
The next I'm on another planet

Patience is the key
Then maybe you'll see
That just because I'm changeable
Doesn't mean I need to be changed.
Try that for a change.

Facade

We all have a front we hide behind
We all wear a mask
We all tend to run from those ugly things
We have all done in the past.

No one is perfect
No one is free
No one has lives without regret
No one, not even me.

When everyone accepts it
When everyone comes clean
When everyone confesses they are faulty
When, I say, when?

Listen to those hidden tones
Listen to them
Listen to me
Listen, really listen friend.

Let me tell you my secrets
Let yourself tell me
Let go
Let go

Don't let the cracks grow deeper
Don't let the chasms spread
Don't let our friendship falter
Don't let it die, or is it dead?

Tell me all your deepest secret
Tell me all you dread
Tell me all you've buried
Tell me who in your life is left as dead.

I can feel the earth tremor
I feel it move beneath my feet
I know the chasm is growing
I wish it wasn't so.

Time has passed
Time has flown
Time has robbed us
Time has stolen what we've grown.

You will play pretend
You will say it's all fine
You will adjust your mask in the mirror
You will march out of my life.

Author Unknown

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart, and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things...and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful, radiant belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.

It Looked Like Love to Me

I don't know what it looked like to him,
But it looked a lot like love to me.
Some things you can fake
Some things you can't
There's that single moment
When you catch someone's eye
And you see it, they bare it all.
They don't mean to
They don't want you to see it
But it's there
None the less.

This is Chloe, our puppy. She's pretty mellow, especially for being only 3 months old.

Insanity

Insanity
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"-either Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin, or some other smartie, or supposed smartie. This somehow turned into a poem about abuse.

Insane to expect a result
Insane to seek a better way throughout
Insane to believe
Insane not to throw in the towel
and just leave.

Things haven't changed at all
Not in bigger ways nor small
I close my eyes at night and pray
For the courage to walk out the door
and run away.

All my friends see the black eye
But all I can do it deny
Laughing it off, they don't understand
The fear that my sanity
Is on sinking sand.

He's drunk again, it's Friday night
He's going to hurt me, he said he might
The kids are all safely away
I think about calling 911
But I know I'd pay.

The door opens with a crash
The coat rack lands with a smash
I beg and plead, he won't listen
Grabs a knife
I see it glisten.

Soon it's over and now I know
I didn't realize it'd be tonight though
I grow very very weak
As my thoughts get hazy
I hear him shriek.

"Carol, baby, I'm so sorry.
I'll change for you honey
Stay awake for me
Please, please, please
I need you, we"

His sentence ends abruptly
The neighbors called the cops out of worry
There's still time to save me
If they speed
If they hurry

Time has passed by
I pass the time with a sigh
We moved
And the memories stayed
As I try to figured out with I've proved.

We all survived, the kids and I
Sometimes, though, I can't help but lie
To them, to myself
Wishing we could all
Be someone, somewhere else.

Choices

Furtive glances
Taking all but no chances
Just within reach.

Nowhere to go
Just riding where the wind blows
Letting life take me where ever it might.

No wonder I hate you so much
Since you’re always just beyond my touch
And love and hate are part of the same coin.

Choices we make along the way
Hoping that we won’t have to pay
Praying that we will have a saving grace.

Will I always be alone
Even if someone’s home
Even if I’m in a crowd?

I’m the sweet girl who’s always laughing
To whom everything adds up to nothing
Who looks for something worth having.

Outside looking in, you think I’m lucky
Outside looking in, you think I’m lovely
Outside is sometimes the better place to be.

I’ve been the center of attention
I’ve been the overlooked ghost of passion
I’ve followed my own path; this is where it’s led me.

I sit back and contemplate
How I got where I am to date
And it always comes back to choices.

How one person got me thinking this way
At the end of a tortuously long day
It makes me wanna say: f it all.

I rewound my life in my mind
To see where I fell behind
Years and years I go back in time.

Back to when I was a child
When the responsibilities weren’t piled
To a simpler time.

When I didn’t contemplate furtive glances
I took all of my chances
I miss those times.

When happiness was candy
When life was cliché but dandy
A sunny day made me happy…

A sunny day still makes me happy

My problem now is not enough time
Not even another line for this rhyme.